October's Secret
When I was young; school, work, "I can't drive", "it's too cold" and many other reasons kept me from the beauty that is October at the cottage. It took until I was age 22 before I got to see the cottage at this glorious angle to the sun. Terry and I were expecting our second child and I was there for a thanksgiving dinner, a real special treat. I remember the extended family gathered at the tables in the big house diningroom. My cousins, aunt's, uncles, parents, sisters and grandparents all present. Jeremy in my womb on his way out within two days, unbeknownst to me. I hope I never forget this memory, it is salve to a sore heart that longs for those days back.
As a young adult, it was my decision to go whenever I wanted, yet, I too had contraints; the kids were little and in school, I was in school and getting aquainted with 5 heavy syllabuses, and money was so tight even one extra tank of gas was out of the question. I missed out many years and consoled myself with the assumption that the fun and beauty and necessity of camp was washed up and useless after labour day weekend (I must insert here the realization I repeatedly have that the older I get the more I see that I know nothing; how everything I experienced then is so different than it is now - which is actually exciting because I can relive new thoughts and feelings and experiences without, say, going to an ashram in Indian for a year!).
As my kids and career matured, more opportunities arose to head to the cottage the odd October weekend. Events like a girlfriend's weekend, thanksgiving with the kids and their partners, or a drive with Terry just to see the fall foilage gave rise to splendid memories of -insert high praise accolades followed by "and it's October can you believe it!?" - October at the cottage. And October is a mere babe and I am here again on the eastern shore of our beautiful Nova Scotia, to witnesss it's splendor. Like:
How the light is so white
How the ocean is so dark blue, its whitecaps so white
How the dying foilage bleeds exquisite umbers and russets
How the clouds are contrasty, full of sunset, with heavy, defined borders
How the grass is a vivid green, one final bloom of it's chlorophyll before it dies
How the sun is a special warm hug when hidden in it from the cool breeze
How it's just one smidge below King June, with its promise of more light
How fevered dreams of summer are replaced with heavy woolen fall slumbers
How walks in it give your body energy, not the other way around
How October's secret is known only to those who make the effort
So now that I am re-learning and re-experiencing all this, I afford myself many more opportunities to head to the cottage at this time of the year. To feel this over and over again because I have much to catch up on and not enough time, so each one must really count, and be fully learned and fully experienced. (Is this normal aging thinking other people have or am I a bit bonkers?) And because I'm forgetful lately this can be used as a note to my near future self. Remember Sussey, this is a secret of October - no one is gonna remind you except you. So when October 28th approaches - this is still all true. Take this month and get in on these treats before pent up grey November arrives. There, this is your reminder.
Okay, duly noted.
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