Dating: Entry level

So when you make the decision to date you step into a whole new world. In 2017 it's evident to me that you need a entry level course, like a pre-101 course. Especially for someone like myself who has not dated since I was eighteen years old. Yes that was way back in 1980. Yes, times have changed and let me tell you.... Dorothy we are not in Kansas anymore. So for those of you like myself, listen up girls while I share what I learned. Here, you can borrow my notes from class before you step into this life lesson yourself and navigate your way to a first date.

1) You have to go online, yes it sucks but no one you know knows anyone single, so get over it
2) Make your profile about who you are- not who you think they are looking for- be honest
3) You do not have to answer everyone back who messages you, in fact don't (more on that later)
4) Yes there are cons out there who want your money and /or your pussy, nothing else
5) If a handsome youngish guy who is a widower messages you, he's from Nigeria, ignore him
6) If you are hearing everything you want to hear, don't believe it, it is too good to be true
7) You will be ghosted (google it)
8) You will see some virtual penises, when you least expect it
9) Always meet in a public place and have an excuse ready (you will need this)
10) No you are not obliged if they ask to kiss them after a first meet or first date
11) You will be messaged half sentences like  "your so beautiful", "I rely want to touch your hair"
12) Guys who stood you up or refused to talk to you will message you again to chat
13) You don't have to message them back or ......guys who can't spell
14) There are a whole pile of shitbags out there
15) There are a number of nice guys out there, if you get to date them count yourself lucky
16) Did I say be yourself?
17) Be very wary of connecting with someone who says they are moving here, they aren't
18) You will be very discouraged, step away for awhile when this happens
19) Meet face to face as quickly as possible, it is much easier to really know someone you see
20) Know what you want and what you don't want, you will be tested on that

There are some of my notes in point form I took in class thus far in my entry level dating course. I did not just copy these down from the lecture, I had to learn these on my own (my teachers are all married or in relationships and busy) and it has not always been a fun class. I would say I am averaging a C+. It is with great trepidation I sign up for the 101 course. I am not where I want to be and not even sure I know where I want to be. Sometimes I want to be alone, sometimes I want to just date and talk to men, sometimes I want be in a serious relationship, sometimes I want to just make out with no strings attached. Most times I just fucking want my husband back. Finally, I am pissed that I am in a position to have to take this course, that I didn't want or ask for, called widowhood.