A day I gave birth

My twins. I remember the pregnancy, all the excitement and hoopla and the food I ate to make them grow and be healthy. The housekeeper we hired for 6 weeks while I remained on bed rest so they would not be born too soon. The books I read, the culture I submersed myself into so I would know how to be mother to "multiples". Terry with me every step of the way. I still remember telling him the results of the ultrasound that I had gotten from the doctor. I called him home sat him down and said guess what? I said it was good news, he guessed we'd won a lotto. I told him it was twins he said oh my god and kinda fell back down on the couch. In my last trimester I got so big, I was a circus when I walked into a room. Luckily I went three weeks early. They were 6'13 and 6'3 pounds. I had a c section not the natural childbirth I dreamed and hoped for but they were safe and beautiful and I was a mother of three.

It's all a dream now, they are 32 today. Life is funny this way - you forget things that were your whole world at one time. Years separate you from all that emotion and love and busyness. What was once everything is no more. My girls have their own lives but are still part of mine. I love that. But where did all that energy Terry and I invested go? I guess it went into shaping them and who they are today.  I still am left wondering where the memories go though. I have only snippets. Their beautiful white gold hair. Candice's beautiful smile - just for me I felt. Sam sucking her finger and rubbing her other fingers against the soft pink ribbon on her blanket. Rocking in the chair. Always rocking. Their baby talk with each other, their pink coats.

They are beautiful strong, happy vibrant gorgeous women not these babies we had in 1986. Those little girls, preteens and teenagers we raised in our rented houses on Kaye Street, Gloria Court, Bruce Drive and Aspen Cresent. That was then and this is now. And it's their birthday today and I love them so.

But I still miss them, I miss all my babies. I miss the memories I've forgotten and the ones I am  forgetting.