Women in their 50's

They have so much to offer, wisdom, financial security, sexual prowess and experience. A certain je ne sais quoi.  No fear of a little blue or pink line on the ole pee stick. No busyness with snotty kids and messy diapers. Women over 50 rock, I see why younger men are attracted to older women now (and yes I have had more than one 35 year old contact me online) (although it creeps me out big time-  I get why they are attracted). I feel sorry for the old men going for the young things.  Isabella Rossellini, Susan Sarandon and Helen Mirren have got it all over any of the Kardashians, Taylor Swift or Katie Perry. All over!

Before I get started this is not a oh the widow is horny post (see the art of the kiss post for that). This goes far beyond that notion, although there is nothing wrong with horny. But that is only one component in the passionate over 50 women. I was watching this hilarious show last night called Big Mouth. It starts off with these grade eights in puberty and all the fun and foibles that that entails. I felt so sorry for them in between nearly pissing my pants laughing at them. I had forgotten how awful and fraught with angst that period of life was when our bodies change and we start blossoming sexually. Wow I went through that??? Somehow all I am left remembering of that time is a few kissing sessions and feeling penises for the first time. That and how I wanted to tear off my acne-ravaged face my entire high school years. Fuck!  Thank Christ that is over. (well most of it tee hee)

Now, as a mature women in her 50's I have a body I half admire, one that can look damn good by the way with a camera and some well positioned poses. No pimples, but yes some scars, belly fat and sun spots I could do without but hey it shows I lived and lived well. I no longer am ashamed of my face or my body (that in itself is fucking sexy). My hair has never looked better because I have money to spend on it (especially after it's colored and curled). I can go out and buy a gorgeous bra and underwear set and still look good in it. But I am not talking about only skin deep sexual beauty, I am talking about the knowledge that older women my age have. About life, about relationships, about how passion works and doesn't work, about what they want and how they can go about getting it without games like sending those notes to the guys best friend as we did in grade eight. It's this self knowledge that is sexy. This is very appealing to me, and I see it in older women. That knowing what they like and asking for it! Yes asking and knowing how to get it even if rejected because they know rejection isn't the end of the world. They know they can get it from themselves. Powerful wise women over 50.

I look forward to the day I take myself out to a nice dinner and movie alone, only me for company. I am very close to that. It's taken awhile but I am close. I feel the power in being a single women. The power to say no, or to say yes, to decide I want this today. To seek it and bask in it and enjoy it and be totally aware and open to the joy and yes the consequences of it. That is freeing, that is sexy and powerful. My girlfriend took boudoir pictures of me last weekend. This was something I never would have considered even 10 years ago, at that time I bought into the whole body shaming culture the fashion industry spouts off. It was actually suggested by a friend to do it for myself. And although at first I hesitated, later I rethought it and said why not? Life is full of choices we make, zillions each day, month, and year that lead us to the paths we go down. I was happy with my choice that day and the results.

As I get older I have less fear in being authentic, in just being myself, as well as speaking my truth to those I encounter in life. I have nothing to hide, in fact I have something to share so my journey and heart have been public this last year. Another conscious and thoughtful decision I made, knowing all the consequences. Even though I heard both sides of the public versus private debate, and have weighed them, I remain happy in my intentions and decisions to be public on this blog. When and if it no longer feels right in my intentions I will decide differently.

Today my truth is that in life the road forks into many divergent paths. In my youth I took the quiet, safe make everyone happy paved road. In my 50's I am taking a bumpy uncharted road. On both roads I carried with me my passion, I felt everything fully- all the good all the bad, all the tragic, all of it I felt fully and completely. Sometimes it took awhile to come to me, sometimes it over rode my sensibilities but fuck I never ever regretted living a passionate life. To seek a path is not really the matter here, what the matter is  is  did you walk down it with your passion? If you didn't, if you aren't- stop. Do it before it is too late. Take this fucking world by the tail and go for a wild ride!